Maintaining

By Pixelgoddess

Summary - Vegeta's life has begun to fall apart, his control slipping away. Will Goku be able to help him hold on, or will he become another victim of Vegeta's past? Yaoi - G/V, R/V, Yuri - CC/OC

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. Honestly. How could you think that? I am a goddess, not an extremely wealthy Japanese man.

Pairings: Goku/Vegeta, Radditz/Vegeta, Chichi/OC. (Okay, okay, I don't like original characters either, but I think you will forgive me. Besides, she won't mess with your favorite Saiyans at all.) Maybe some other pairs if the mood strikes me.

Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri. Smut. Violence (later), rape (later), angst (right away). A disgustingly cheerful Goku. A nice dyke Chichi.

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Chapter 6 - Realization

Goku managed to perform his magic, and soothed his friends hurt feelings. No one had been seriously hurt, and a few drinks and ice packs later, everyone was on speaking terms again.

Chichi stood in the darkened kitchen, looking out the window at the group getting drunk under the trees. She noticed that Goku was hardly listening, and kept looking away in the distance. She sighed and leaned back as she felt Rezu's arms wrap around her waist.

"Hi hon," Rezu murmured, nuzzling her neck. "The kids are in their room, making believe they're asleep. I told them if they came out I would tie their tails to the bedpost." She followed to where Chichi was looking. "Why are they still talking to each other?"

Chichi sniffed in amusement. "They've fought and died together too many times. I don't think anything will break them up." She turned to face her lover, wrapping her arms around her neck.

Rezu grinned and leaned down to claim the brunette's lips. Chichi moaned and pressed closer, burying her fingers in her lover's hair, unwilling to let her escape. Rezu's hand slid down to cup Chichi's ass and her tongue invaded her mouth, making promises for later.

"Hi guys," Goku said, as he came into the kitchen. "Is there any beer left?"

Chichi broke the kiss and growled. "Your timing sucks, Goku."

"Yeah, sorry," he mumbled, hand behind his head. "But the cooler is empty."

She drew out of Rezu's embrace and went to check. "Guess what? They drank it all."

Rezu snickered and sat at the table. "They deserve the hang-overs they are going to have. I still can't believe Bulma was such a c-."

"Don't say it," Chichi warned, glaring at her. "You know I hate that word."

"Aw, come on, I just save it for special people."

Goku had gotten a far-away look in his eyes, as if he was listening to something.

Chichi moved to take his hand. His tail coiled gently up her arm. "What's he doing?"

When he looked down, his dark eyes were bright with unshed tears. "He's in so much pain. But he won't let me help him. I can't get him to tell me what's wrong."

Goku let Chichi lead him to the table and gently push him into a chair.

"He didn't talk much while you were gone - and before - well it was all about defeating you. You know he doesn't like to let people know what he is feeling."

"I've met some people like that. Strong emotions scare them and throw them off balance, so they try hard not to show anything," Rezu added.

"It's all about maintaining control, Goku," Chichi said, trying to comfort the distressed Saiyan. "He's just lost one of the things he thought he could count on - whether they were in love or not, I don't think he expected it to happen like this."

"Vegeta's lost so much - he's had so little control over most of his life..." Goku pondered. He dragged his hands through his hair in frustration. "But that still doesn't help. I know Bulma never said anything to him, but he had to have known something was wrong."

"Look Goku," Rezu said, moving behind the Saiyan to grip his shoulders, "All this talk is not helping Vegeta. You have to go find him. If you can't make him talk, at least keep him company."

"You know he isn't capable of asking for help," Chichi told him, as she started moving around the kitchen, filling up a capsule with food. "Rezu, will you go get some clothes, blankets, and whatever else?"

Rezu nodded and gave Goku's shoulder a last squeeze before she left the room.

Chichi sat down across from Goku and placed the capsule on the table. He stared at his hands.

"Chichi...I..." he started.

She took his hands in hers. "He needs you, even if he finds it hard to admit. He doesn't have anyone but Trunks anymore. And you need him, too. I've watched you since you came back, Goku. You watch him constantly. You are always aware of how he feels and what he is doing...."

He raised his head to stare at her in wonder. "What are you saying...?"

"You've told me about Otherworld. Didn't you ever wish any of them were Vegeta?"

Goku gaped at her, cheeks red in embarrassment.

"You mean you've never considered if you loved him?" she asked, watching him carefully.

"N-n-no," he stuttered, suddenly gasping for air as the possibility ran through his mind. He stared back down at the table, unseeing, his tail thrashing behind him.

Chichi sat silently, waiting patiently for Goku's world to finish rearranging itself.

In Otherworld - he had become so lonely and depressed. Watching his family without him hurt more than it helped. There were so few fighters at his level. There was no challenge and he was so unhappy - he felt his power dropping and he didn't even care.

He struggled to continue his training, tried to set new goals, but they slipped further and further out of his reach. His normal cheerful attitude failed him, and he didn't know how to deal with it. He'd never been depressed in his life, and it stopped him cold. King Kai missed Goku's horrible jokes, and finally asked the blonde warrior Olibu to try to get him out of this black mood.

It finally worked, but not how Kai had anticipated. Olibu became attached to the Saiyan, always near him. Goku felt comforted by his constant presence and frequent touches. Then one day the hand on his shoulder became more - a lover's embrace.

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Olibu's arm wrapped around Goku's waist, drawing him closer; his other hand gently cupping the Saiyan's cheek.

Goku blinked up at him, confused.

"So beautiful. So sad," he whispered, brushing his thumb over Goku's lips.

Goku gave a tiny gasp, captivated and bewildered. He felt Olibu's hot breath on his face, then warm lips pressing against his. He was frozen - he didn't know how to respond. No one but Chichi had ever kissed him.

Olibu drew back and looked at him sadly. "I am sorry, Goku, I should not have..." He began to release his waist, but Goku captured the retreating arm.

"Why?" he whispered.

"You are so lonely," he answered. "You need to be held. You are my friend and I wanted to make you feel better."

Goku gazed up, studying the blonde's face. "I- I- " He trailed off, not sure what to say, but still keeping hold of Olibu, unwilling to release him.

Olibu brushed a dark lock of hair from Goku's forehead, calm under Goku's stare.

Goku closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. "Please, Olibu - kiss me again."

The blonde man smiled and enveloped the Saiyan, holding him close. He put his hand behind Goku's neck and bent down to capture the now willing lips. Goku returned the embrace, opening his mouth to a questing tongue.

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Goku had never even considered sex with a man before, but Olibu had been gentle and kind. It was new, strange and wonderful to be the one being taken care of and protected. They both knew it was friendship, not love, but while they were together it was good. It lasted until Olibu had to leave on a mission for the Kais.

Goku was relieved to realize he was no longer so unhappy. He returned to his training with a vengeance, making friends with the other warriors, learning new techniques.

Then one day, a new warrior appeared with a massive ki. Goku watched his training, breathless. He was short, fast, and deadly. When he first saw the man fight he thought instantly of Vegeta.

Goku had gone out of his way to meet Henoko, challenging and defeating him in a battle that forced him to reach new levels. They became sparring partners, then friends - and then lovers.

Goku surprised himself and actively pursued the man. Henoko was strong and aggressive and they frequently battled over dominance. It was intoxicating, but they both knew it was only lust. And then it was over. Henoko left, and Goku was alone again.

Goku's nights became haunted and fitful. He dreamed of battles and sex and sweat and passion. He often fantasized about Olibu or Henoko, but most of the time they would morph into a mystery lover. He always knew the man in his dreams, but he could never remember whom it was when he awoke, sweating and panting.

He struggled now to remember those dreams, and suddenly the face became clear.

He finally looked up at her, tears streaming down his face. "Oh GodS...I - I..."

"You do?" she asked, a smile on her face.

"Yes," he whispered.

Rezu put a handful of capsules in front of him. "So, go try to help him."

TBC
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I halfway debated using Pikkon, but - nah. You do remember Olibu, don't you? The big blonde guy that Pikkon beat. And yes, Henoko is another pun - it means penis. If you didn't look it up yet, Rezu means lesbian.

Chapter 7 teaser.......

"Do you want more?" Rezu asked with raw desire. Her hands moved lower to stroke Chichi's hips. Her kisses burned a path down her stomach, making Chichi release her hold to clutch at the sheets when she buried her tongue in her navel.

Yes - next chapter - Lesbian sex!