Monkey Moon part 4b

        Goku neared his home, sensing a long forgotten ki. Thoughts jumbled, he hovered in
        the evening sky.

        Why is Raditz here? And for that matter, why is Piccolo? It makes no sense.

        The tall saiyan lowered quietly, dark brows pinched in a frown. Unresolved feelings
        and fears resurfaced.

        He snorted. It's been a hell of a day. Maybe I don't know myself after all. How in
        Kami do I just walk in as if nothing's happened? And what do I say to Raditz?

        ****

        The aforementioned saiyan looked up suddenly, a slow smile spreading his features.

        "Hold, Chi Chi. Our delightful conversation must wait...I sense my brother about."

        The petite brunette looked about. "It's about time. I expected him hours ago."

        "Perhaps he was detained."

        Chi Chi glared down the hallway. "He'd better have a good reason for being so late!"

        Raditz watched her in silence. This small harridan commands my brother? What
        insane contamination has taken place?

        Moments later quiet feet entered the kitchen. Goku stared at his brother in silence, his
        expression revealing nothing. Raditz returned the curious expression, arms folded.

        Chi Chi waved her arms in the air. "Hello, earth to husband...where the hell have you
        been?!"

        Goku glanced at her in distraction. "Hi, Chi Chi. Sorry I'm late."

        "Is that all you have to say? Dinner was ready hours ago! What have you been doing
        all this time!!"

        Raditz stared at his brother in astonishment, not believing his senses. Kami, he's
        been with Nappa! What the fug??

        Equally dark eyes raised in challenge. "I don't want to talk about it."

        "What kind of answer is that?" Chi Chi snapped. "Well, if you want your dinner, you'll
        have to reheat it-"

        "That's enough, Chi Chi!"

        She blinked, taken aback by his demeanor. "What's wrong with you, Goku? You're
        not acting like yourself."

        He ignored her. "Raditz" he nodded at his brother.

        Raditz grinned knowingly. "Kakarot...it's been a long time."

        "Why are you here?"

        "I came to see you, actually. Chi Chi and I were getting accquainted. She cooks the
        most delightful meals."

        Goku sat at the table, watching him carefully. "I know. Have you been here all day?"

        "Since earlier this afternoon. Your namek friend is downstairs. I suppose he's
        appointed himself watchdog."

        "Not unwise."

        A sigh. "I'm no threat, Kakarot...you forget, I'm your family too."

        Goku looked away momentarily. "What do you want?"

        The conversation was interrupted when Piccolo and Gohan burst into the kitchen.
        Gohan leaped at his father.

        "Daddy!"

        Goku hugged him hard. "Hey, how's my boy?"

        "Fine. Are you talking to Uncle Raditz?"

        Goku glanced at his brother. "Umm...yes."

        "Don't trust him, Goku!" Piccolo pointed.

        "He hasn't done anything, Piccolo" Chi Chi added.

        "Not yet he hasn't!"

        'Hey, give him a chance" Gohan piped up. "Right, daddy?"

        Goku looked about uncomfortably. "Right. Gohan, go upstairs to your room and play,
        okay?"

        The little mop top was clearly disappointed. "Can't I stay with you guys?"

        "Maybe later. Right now the grownups need some time together, okay?"

        A sigh. "All right. See you, Piccolo. 'Bye, Uncle Raditz" the boy waved before leaving.

        "And don't turn up the playstation volume!" Chi Chi shouted after him.

        "I won't, mom!"

        "An adorable child" Raditz commented. "he has an impressive power about him."

        "Why...thank you" Chi Chi blushed at the compliment.

        Goku continued to stare. "Raditz, we need to talk."

        "I know."

        "In private" Goku pointed at the door.

        The maned saiyan nodded. "Agreed."

        "But what about your dinner?" Chi Chi wanted to know.

        Goku didn't take his eyes off Raditz. "It can wait."

        Raditz sniffed at Piccolo. "Don't let the door hit you, namek."

        "This isn't your home, saiyan!"

        "It's all right, Piccolo" Goku gave a small smile. "For better or worse, I'm a saiyan
        too."

        ****

        The two brothers walked in uncomfortable silence across the front yard. Raditz
        decided to break it.

        "Kakarot, you don't have to treat me like I have a disease."

        "I know. This is awkward."

        Raditz stopped in front of him. "Hai. I myself have unresolved feelings. But you must
        know I never intended to harm you."

        Dark eyes were suspiciously bright. "That seems hard to believe."

        A sigh. "Kakarot...all saiyans are taught to use any means necessary to obtain a goal.
        I was no different."

        "I didn't want you dead, but you gave me no choice."

        "Understood. It was cowardly to use the boy, but I was feeling desperate."

        "You expected me to join you after threatening my son?"

        A rueful smile. "I made a mistake. Anger and pride clouded my judgement. It felt as if
        you betrayed your saiyan blood...and me."

        Goku threw his hands up. "What the hell did you expect me to do? There was no
        home world for me to return to, and I had a life here!"

        "I regret it all now."

        "You should."

        Raditz looked at darkening skies. "This world you call home has a certain charm. But
        your heritage lies elsewhere."

        "A heritage I'll never know, Raditz."

        The older saiyan shook him. "Fool! You aren't ignorant of what you are."

        Goku stared obstinately. "I was raised on earth by a human named Gohan."

        Raditz felt another stab of rage. "You want to play games, eh? Is that why I smell
        Nappa all over you?!"

        Goku paled. "You...noticed that?"

        "Ha! You were practically reeking when you walked in...although I smelled stream
        water on you also. You tried to wash it off?"

        "What the hell do you think?!" Goku flushed, cheeks heating.

        Raditz was smug. "Initially I was concerned that you'd lost touch with your saiyan
        side, but it's clear you haven't."

        "Stop smiling. This isn't funny!"

        "Actually, I think it's encouraging."

        Goku shook a fist at him. "I'm warning you...don't tell my wife!"

        Raditz shrugged. "Why would I? Saiyans don't spray their buisness everywhere. You
        only did what was natural."

        Goku blinked at that. "Natural? I'm a married man, for Kami's sake!"

        "You live by human standards."

        Goku snorted. "I see...so saiyans are incapable of being loyal?"

        Raditz snarled. "Your ignorance is astounding. Of course we're loyal! That isn't the
        point...we can't deny our instincts."

        "What's that have to do with anything, Raditz? We all make choices!"

        "I tell you, it's different for a saiyan. Have you ever been confused by your own
        responses on this world? Things you couldn't explain, even to yourself?"

        Goku paled, realization sinking in. "I...try not to dwell on that..."

        Raditz pressed. "It's true, isn't it? You don't understand."

        "I don't want to discuss this, Raditz. I'm more interested in _your_ motivations."

        A pause. "Let's talk in the woods."

        Strangely enough, Goku understood. "Fine. But no lies, Raditz. I can sense the truth
        of emotions from those around me."

        "A gift I inherited as well. It will make things easier for us both."

        Goku gawked. "Wha-? You mean to tell me that you?!"

        "Our dear father had the ability, Kakarot. There is much you don't know."

        "Apparently not" Goku was muted as they entered the deep wood.

        ****

        The two sat near a quiet stream. Goku removed his shoes and wiggled his toes
        absently.

        "So talk."

        Raditz nodded, watching him stretch. "There wasn't time before, but now I want to
        share something with you."

        "What?"

        "The past. Yours and mine."

        "How do you plan to do that?"

        "Surely you know we form mental links and bonds?"

        Goku stared at his reflection. "I get impressions of thoughts, mostly-"

        "You've had no one to truly bond with, Kakarot. It's a miracle you aren't mad."

        "I don't see the connection."

        Raditz looked at him searchingly. "No, correction. You have a tenuous bond with our
        prince Vegeta."

        Equally dark eyes went stark. "Are you insane? There's nothing between Vegeta and
        me!!"

        "Hn...perhaps not having your tail is a factor..."

        Goku gawked. "You want to fill me in on this? What's the big deal about my tail? I've
        lived perfectly fine without it!"

        Raditz waved his own furry coil in emphasis, smirking. "Oh, you'd know if you still had
        yours..."

        Goku watched it move and undulate in fascination. "Vegeta and Nappa always had
        them wrapped around their waists."

        "A protective move. Enemies often use our tails against us since they're quite
        sensitive."

        Goku's eyes glazed over in memory. "I remember as a child being nervous about
        people pulling mine. Sometimes my adoptive grandfather would stroke it to soothe
        me...it actually felt pretty good."

        "Hn, you noticed. Do you remember anything else about it?"

        "Not really. I was just a child, no more than seven when it was removed."

        Raditz pulled his chin. "Ah, so you didn't hit adolescence with it..."

        Goku frowned in confusion. "So what? It was just a tail."

        The maned saiyan snapped his head around. "Fool. A saiyan's tail is far more than
        just an appendage. It's a sensory organ that regulates power and vitality."

        "What!!"

        Raditz laughed. "Hai, brother...your expression is priceless. And there's more."

        Goku gulped. "Such as?"

        "It also influences brain chemistry and behavior."

        Goku gasped. "Oh, kami..."

        Raditz stared in sudden comprehension. "Why didn't I see it before! No wonder your
        actions were baffling. I'm surprised Vegeta didn't consider this..."

        "Now wait a minute!" Goku stopped him. "There's nothing wrong with me, you got
        that? I have a good home and family-"

        "I can say this without a doubt, Kakarot. If you'd kept your tail most likely this planet
        would be wiped clean, and we'd be meeting in outer space."

        "That's...crazy!!"

        "No it isn't. How did you treat your adoptive grandfather?"

        "Another stupid question. We were close!"

        "Always?"

        Goku froze in horror at a sudden memory. "No...he said I was a 'rotten' kid when he
        found me."

        A slight smile. "Rotten?"

        Goku sighed, staring at the stream again. "Yeah. He said I was nasty and mean...he
        thought something was wrong with me."

        "I suppose to a human a saiyan baby would seem so. Didn't it ever strike you as odd
        your behavior could change so much?"

        "I just assumed that occurred when I hit my head in an accident."

        Raditz snorted. "Come on, Kakarot. As much as you fight, do you really think every
        blow changes your personality?"

        Goku glared. "I don't get this, then."

        A sigh. "Your tail also contains various hormones. Some of those trigger the oozaru
        transformation."

        A gasp. "So that's the true reason I couldn't change without my tail!"

        "Hai, it had nothing to do with it just being 'chopped off'. It could no longer transmit
        hormones to your brain."

        "Ai, that's amazing..."

        "Other hormones the tail produces stimulate your instincts and drives."

        Goku stared at his hands. "But I've been fine..."

        Raditz looked him over carefully. "Hn. Aye, you function well...your power is amazing.
        But that's not my meaning. The 'Goku' these humans know would not exist with your
        tail. It may be the only reason you could remain sane and live among these aliens
        without wanting to destroy them."

        "So you're saying I'm 'cut off' in some way?"

        "Without your tail, yes...your drives and natural saiyan instincts are muted enough to
        make you peaceful."

        Goku flushed red. "You make it sound as if I'm neutered!"

        "Not precisely, Kakarot. I've seen and heard evidence of your natural aggressions and
        instincts coming out on occasion, particularly as super saiyan."

        Goku nodded. "I feel mostly rage in that state..."

        A smirk. "Anything else?"

        The younger saiyan gritted his teeth. "Yes...hatred" he admitted.

        Raditz tilted his head in approval. "Hai, most impressive the power...and power feels
        good."

        Goku looked away momentarily. "Of course it does. When I first attained super
        saiyan I stayed off planet to get the power under control."

        "And did you?"

        "To a degree. I can always control the transformation, but not my reactions once I've
        changed."

        "Do you care at that point?"

        Dark eyes blinked in astonishment. "Not really. I never examined that too closely."

        The burly saiyan touched his cheek. "You're impressive, Kakarot. Despite your
        confusion, you acknowledge certain truths."

        "I can't act on everything I feel, Raditz."

        "This 'Goku' thing...you suppress yourself to fit in?"

        "Goku is my given name here."

        "That wasn't my question. You have a human mate and friends."

        "And your point is?"

        "Doesn't it become frustrating at times, being the savior of this planet?"

        "Better than being abandoned by my own people."

        Raditz stared at the ground. "I know. Father wanted to find you, but King Vegeta
        refused, saying that everyone was needed for the war against Frieza."

        Goku was silent a moment. "He's in hell, isn't he?"