Quest
Sequel to Maintaining
By Pixelgoddess

Summary: Maintaining sequel. Frieza has caused some incredible issues for the Saiyans to overcome, but they are trying. What will it take for them to finally become mates? Yaoi, Yuri. Goku x Vegeta, Chichi x Rezu (OC)
Disclaimer: If I owned it, don’t you think there would have been more decent girls to write about?
Warnings: *snickers* Whaddya got? Sex. Rape and its aftermath. Violence. Bad words. Gay marriage. Krillin-bashing. Dyke Chichi. Straight Gohan. Confused Dende. Smart-ass Piccolo. I think that covers it – for now.
--------------------

Chapter 36 - Trust

Goku looked up into the ice-blue eyes of his lover, not resisting as Vegeta’s hands gripped his throat more tightly. He couldn’t do this anymore. He wanted to be mated so badly he had pushed Vegeta too far, too fast. His prince didn’t trust him.

Vegeta didn’t trust him. Somehow the pain of the ki burning his skin wherever their bodies made contact was nothing compared to the ache in his heart when he finally admitted that to himself.

Vegeta didn’t trust him. He loved Goku, but he didn’t trust him. He tried to reach a hand up, to brush it over his prince’s cheek, but he didn’t seem to be able to move enough to touch him. It was okay – he was too tired and weak to fight this anymore.

Maybe – maybe later Vegeta would find him in hell. Maybe they could be together there. He just couldn’t go on anymore – the bond was too hard to maintain like this.

He was crying – he could feel the tears sliding down his face, turning his graying vision into a silvery fog. He would have liked to kiss his prince one more time, but at least he could die while Vegeta was touching him. He had always liked his hands – they always felt like fire to him. ::I love…::

---------------------

Piccolo frantically raced to the house, trying to interpret the changes in ki. He was used to the spikes and dips of the Saiyans’ normal activities, but this was different. It couldn’t be the Kais, could it? How could they have made this attack without someone noticing? Vegeta’s ki was skyrocketing, but Goku’s ki was dropping rapidly.

==Damn it, Goku. Hold on. Hold on.==

He arrived in time to see the wall of the capsule house explode and Vegeta rocketing into the sky. He almost followed the prince, ready to help him fight the enemy, but Goku’s nearly non-existent ki held him back. For the time being, Vegeta was on his own.

“Goku?” he asked, entering through the rubble, trying to see through the dust that still filled the air. “Come on, Goku. Talk to me.” A step or two brought him to the bed where the Saiyan was stretched out on his back, barely breathing, burns and bruises covering his exposed neck and chest.

“Fuck,” he cursed, digging for a senzu. What in the hell was wrong with Vegeta, leaving Goku helpless and injured like this? Whoever did this could return. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found one and propped up Goku’s head so he could feed it to him. ==Damned pain in the ass Saiyans. Can’t stay out of trouble for a minute.==

He watched the bean work, still fascinated at the way the magic made injuries fade away as if they never existed. Goku finally started to breathe normally, but Piccolo was concerned to see he was still crying.

“Goku,” he asked, helping the Saiyan sit up, “What happened? Who attacked you? Was it the Kais?”

Goku looked at him with dead eyes before he shook his head. “No,” he whispered in a voice almost too soft to hear. “It was Vegeta.”

Piccolo stared at him in shock. Vegeta nearly killed Goku – again? “Was it the brainwashing? Did that get triggered somehow?”

Goku stared down at his lap, playing with his tail. “No. It was… He- he doesn’t trust me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Goku. Of course he does. He loves you so much it makes him stupid sometimes.”

Piccolo thought he had accomplished something when Goku almost smiled but it vanished in an instant, leaving his friend looking sadder than he had ever seen him.

“He might love me,” he said hoarsely, “But he doesn’t trust me. I don’t think he ever will.” Goku looked at him, no evidence remaining of the usually happy man he knew. His friend looked utterly lost and he didn’t know what he could do to help. “I tried, Piccolo, I really tried. I should have listened to Rouba – she said to be patient – to wait. But I couldn’t. Vegeta wanted to wish the bond away to protect me and I got scared. I though I would lose him.”

“You won’t lose him, Goku. And maybe he is right – it has been making you act strangely lately. The bond is from the Kais’ fusion and you two are going to be mated eventually. Won’t that be an even stronger bond?”

“Don’t you get it, Piccolo? We can’t be mated. Not safely. Vegeta doesn’t trust me. If you take away the bond I’ll have nothing,” Goku said desperately.

“Goku…”

“Maybe… maybe I should just let him claim me. Who cares if he will own me? There are worse things than being a- a- pet. It wouldn’t be the first time. Vegeta might not trust me, but he’ll be good to me – stay with me at least. It couldn’t be any worse than this.”

Piccolo couldn’t believe he was hearing this – it was as if Goku had given up. This was so unlike him he wondered if he was seeing a previously unknown part of Vegeta’s personality. “Goku, you have to quit thinking that way. Vegeta doesn’t want to own you – he’d never agree to it. You are just depressed because of changes caused by the bond, that’s all.”

“You don’t understand. No one understands. I’ve let Vegeta feel everything I do – how much I trust him, how much I love him… and it hasn’t worked. I opened up my side of the bond totally so he could see how I feel, but it didn’t do any good. It just made me…”

Piccolo was stunned when Goku suddenly wrapped his arms around him in a crushing hug, desperate for comfort. Piccolo sighed inwardly, cursing the damn prince for causing this, but didn’t push him away.

“What do I do, Piccolo?” Goku pleaded. “It didn’t work – he still doesn’t trust me. He thinks – thought – he did, but it isn’t true. He doesn’t trust anyone, including me. And until he does, we can’t mate.”

Piccolo hadn’t realized the extent of the agony Goku was voluntarily going through. He was deliberately letting himself suffer in order to help Vegeta. Everyone was always so worried about how the prince was doing, being careful not to get him upset. As a result, they didn’t pay enough attention to how Goku was reacting to all of this. Had Vegeta finally ruined everything for both of them?

“Goku,” he asked hesitantly, “Do you still want to be with Vegeta? Even after what he did?”

“Y- yes,” Goku said, his voice muffled against Piccolo’s chest. “I- I love him, Piccolo. I just- I just wish he could learn to trust me.”

-----------------------

Piccolo flew towards where Vegeta was, getting angrier with each passing minute. He had spent a long time with Goku, finally convincing him to tell what Rouba had wanted kept from Vegeta until he was ready. To hell with that. As far as he was concerned, the bastard was way past ready. This wasn’t even about mating anymore – it was about keeping Goku alive and hopefully happy. To do that the Saiyans had to stay together. He didn’t care about promises some old woman had extracted – he was going to try to fix this fucking disaster.

Goku was a mess – he was depressed and nearly suicidal, although most of that was due to Vegeta’s past influencing him through the bond. This wasn’t really Goku he was dealing with – it was Vegeta after returning from hell the second time. Piccolo wasn’t surprised to learn he hadn’t fought back at all when Vegeta was strangling him. His personality had shifted so much he was like the post-Buu Vegeta, his power and confidence waning.

It didn’t help that the younger Saiyan had done it to himself. The bond hadn’t been as unstable before Goku deliberately tried to use it in order to help Vegeta mate with him. He had done it for the right reasons, but he didn’t realize how much it would backfire, leaving him vulnerable.

Now Vegeta had practically shut down his side of the bond, which Goku said hurt. Piccolo was sure it was less than the pain he would feel if the distraught prince exposed him to what he was experiencing now. Piccolo had felt his ki surging, probably blowing up the surrounding landscape.

At Kami’s suggestion he convinced Goku to try to control his side, at least temporarily. The old man believed it would give the Saiyans a chance to deal with what had happened without feeling each other’s influence as much. Piccolo hoped it would give him back more of the Goku he knew, at least long enough for him to talk some sense into Vegeta. Goku was too tired and depressed to put up much of an argument, letting Piccolo help him meditate in order to get some control over his shattered emotions.

Gohan had called several times; frantically demanding to know what was going on and threatening to come there. He almost accepted, seriously considering having the boy stay with his father. Goku refused, however, insisting he didn’t want anyone else to see him like this. Piccolo relented, telling Gohan to let everyone know Goku would be okay.

When he finally did leave, Goku was much calmer and almost himself. The Saiyan insisted he wouldn’t do anything stupid; he just wanted to be alone and think. Piccolo still wasn’t sure it was a good idea to leave him alone, so he told Gohan to stay handy and keep an eye on his father’s ki.

The Saiyan had ignored the rubble strewn throughout the room and pulled a chair Piccolo recognized as Vegeta’s to the window. Goku sat there, cross-legged, staring at the forest while he played with a capsule. “Please Piccolo – make him come back to me. Make him understand,” he whispered.

When he reached Vegeta, evidence of his reaction to his moment of insanity was evident. The prince was standing in the middle of a crater, surrounded by leveled rock formations and splintered trees. Vegeta’s power had returned to normal, but Piccolo didn’t think he had moved.

Piccolo landed in front of him and frowned at bastard’s scowl. He didn’t hesitate, punching the Saiyan in the jaw, sending a shocked Vegeta flying. He stalked over to where Vegeta was picking himself up and hit him again, this time kicking him in his unprotected gut.

“What in the fuck are you trying to do, Namek?” Vegeta growled. “Get yourself killed?”

“Sure, why not?” he snarled. “That’s what you do to your friends isn’t it? Wait for the right moment and kill them? I might as well be next.” This was risky – possibly fatal – but if he could get Vegeta angry enough to stop feeling sorry for himself and think about Goku he might have a chance. He had gone through too much to get the Saiyans together to just sit by and watch the idiot prince throw it all away.

Vegeta froze. “Kakorr? He’s—?”

“He’s alive, no thanks to you,” Piccolo growled. “It wasn’t bad enough that you nearly killed him, but then you had to leave him like that? If I hadn’t come he would have died. Do you realize that, you asshole?! He would have died!”

“No,” Vegeta insisted. “No.”

“Yes, you selfish fucking bastard. The best thing to ever happen to you and you would just throw it away. What in the fuck is wrong with you? Do you realize – do you have any concept of what he has done for you? What he has gone through for you? Do you even pay attention to what is coming through that damned bond?”

Vegeta just stared at him in confusion, pissing Piccolo off even more. The next kick sent the bewildered Saiyan flying a satisfying distance. Piccolo stood there, waiting for him to return.

“Get your fucking head out of your fucking ass, Vegeta. You’ve been coddled and babied enough. Think about Goku for a change – he needs you.”

“I do think about him.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’ve had enough of your crap, Namek. I don’t have to listen to this,” Vegeta grumbled, turning away.

Piccolo hissed in annoyance and stretched an arm, dragging the complaining Saiyan back. “Yes you do, asshole. You can’t run away from this. If you want any chance of saving your relationship and staying with Goku you are going to listen to what I have to say.”

Vegeta seemed to sag then. “How can go back? After what I did…”

“Because he’s in love with you, moron. He will take you back – under one condition.”

Vegeta stared at him dubiously.

“It’s true, Vegeta. I think you’ve been given more chances than you deserve but if he is willing to give you another one then you damned well better take it.”

“How could he? Damn it, Piccolo – I almost killed him,” he said, hanging his head.

“Who knows how he thinks? It’s a mystery to me. Frankly, as far as you are concerned I think he is an idiot. Then again, I’m not the one in love with you. This is your last chance, Vegeta. If you fuck this up, I don’t think you are going to get another opportunity.”

“What do I have to do?”

“He told you, Vegeta. You have to trust him.”

“I-” Vegeta began.

Piccolo shook his head, interrupting him. “Just words, Vegeta. You both know they aren’t true. You have to pass a test now. Your word isn’t good enough.”

“What-” Vegeta swallowed. “What kind of test?”

“You only get one chance at this, Vegeta. Don’t go back if you aren’t willing, because if you start and back out in the middle you can’t do it over again.”

“Just tell me what the damn test is!”

-----------------

Vegeta sat at the edge of the cliff, feet dangling over the edge, fingering the coin around his neck. It had been nearly a week – nearly a week since he had almost killed Kakorr. He didn’t dare return – Piccolo had warned him – because he wasn’t ready yet – and part of him was worried he would never be.

He hadn’t even been aware of what he was doing then – he had tried to explain to Piccolo that he had just reacted to what he saw as a threat. After he said that, there had been a moment when he thought the Namek was going to hit him again.

When Piccolo had told him the test he had laughed at first. How ridiculously simple. Then he started to think about it – and the memories it brought to the surface. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized how difficult it this would really be.

Rouba had seen inside him and understood what he had not. Vegeta had honestly thought he trusted Kakorr. And he did – more than he trusted anyone else. He trusted Kakorr to do what he requested and to stop anytime Vegeta told him to. It wasn’t enough.

He hadn’t even comprehended how little he trusted Kakorr until he realized his hands were tight around his throat, crushing the breath out of him. Kakorr hadn’t fought back or resisted at all, just staring up at him with glistening brown eyes. Vegeta had been shocked to realize what he had done, recoiling in horror from the limp body of his lover.

Piccolo was right. He was an asshole – a bastard. He should have stayed but instead he blasted a hole in the wall and run away like a coward. He wasn’t rational then, unable to tell if the faint ki of his lover was real or imagined. Until Piccolo showed up and confirmed it, he wasn’t sure if Kakorr was still alive.

Now that the Namek had explained what Kakorr was trying to do with the bond he began to really appreciate how much he was loved. Vegeta was annoyed he had tried something so dangerous without telling him, but he understood why Kakorr had felt it necessary. If he had known, he would have resisted, making Kakorr’s efforts worthless.

Kakorr had honestly believed he could transfer his trust through the bond. Vegeta could have told him it wouldn’t be that easy – he would have resisted without realizing it. He seriously doubted such a trait could be given to someone else.

This test left him in a difficult position. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t know if he was capable of it. Memories of Frieza kept rising up, triggering bursts of fear he could barely contain. He kept telling himself his concern was unfounded – after all, Kakorr cared about him and loved him with a power that was almost breath-taking. Kakorr wouldn’t use him like others had in the past.

He knew if circumstances were different – if their positions were switched – Kakorr wouldn’t have hesitated for an instant. The hunt for the biyaku was only one example of Kakorr’s faith in him. He could give up complete control to Vegeta in an instant, letting himself be restrained by words alone. A test like this wouldn’t have been necessary for him – Piccolo said Kakorr’s test was being able to put ‘his prince’ in this position knowing how much it would frighten him at first. Vegeta scowled. Kakorr was stronger than he was in so many things – he had no doubt his lover would find the strength to do what needed to be done.

He hadn’t even been able to argue with the damn Namek about his reaction – he was right. Vegeta was afraid. It didn’t matter he had no reason to be – he couldn’t get beyond his past and let himself totally trust Kakorr. And if he didn’t, he would lose him forever.

-----------------

Goku sat on the front steps, staring at the forest, not really listening to Chichi as she chattered about the baby’s room while he fed her ki. The capsule in the pocket of his jeans seemed to be a weight reminding him of Vegeta.

“Goku?” she asked, waving her hand in front of his face. “Are you even listening to me?”

He turned and looked at her with a sad smile. “It has to work,” he said in a soft voice.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure it will, hon,” she said, taking his hand. “Vegeta will come back.”

“What if he doesn’t?” he asked mournfully.

“He will, honey. He loves you too much to stay away. Besides, he will have to come back to see his daughter.”

“Son.”

Chichi chuckled, “Daughter.”

He shrugged and turned back to the forest again. He could faintly feel Vegeta through the bond, enough to know he was alive. Something about his prince was changing, but he honestly didn’t know if that was good or bad. Goku was looking forward to and dreading his return – so much could go wrong now.

Vegeta had tried to contact him once with their telepathy, but he refused to respond – even though it pained Goku, his prince had to do this on his own.

“He’s only been gone a few days, Goku. You know how he is. He just needs more time.”

“It’s been a week.” Chichi didn’t know what had happened – no one but Piccolo did. As far as he knew, everyone just thought they had fought, although he was sure Gohan suspected there was more to it. He had tried to keep things as normal as possible, training and sparring with Piccolo and his sons. Fortunately, Piccolo or Gohan would run interference when Trunks and Goten started to ask too many questions. He spoke only when he needed to, much of his energy focused towards keeping his side of the bond stable. Chichi knew something was wrong when he stopped eating and kept trying to feed him.

“A week is nothing in Vegeta-time. Give him a chance.”

“’Vegeta-time’,” he chuckled. He looked over at Chichi as she smiled at him. “The boys are at Bulma’s, so shouldn’t you be home with Rezu? Getting caught up?”

“You mean having sex. Yes,” she grinned. “Rezu is on her way home now, so I won’t be around for the next day or two. I just came by for a recharge for the baby.”

He put his hands on her belly again and gave her a little more ki. The baby’s ki jumped in response and he grinned. “Take care of my daughter, Chi.”

“S-” she began before realizing what he had said. “Daughter?” she beamed. “Really?”

“Think so – maybe - feels different than the boys’ somehow.”

He returned her happy hug, smiling bemusedly as she started chattering away with more plans for the baby’s room. He knew he was shutting her out again as he studied the forest, but she was so elated she probably didn’t even notice. He inhaled sharply.

“Chi,” he said softly, interrupting her, not able to tear his eyes away, “Go home. Now.”

Vegeta had returned.

TBC