Quest
Sequel to Maintaining
By Pixelgoddess

Summary: Maintaining sequel. Frieza has caused some incredible issues for the Saiyans to overcome, but they are trying. What will it take for them to finally become mates? Yaoi, Yuri. Goku x Vegeta, Chichi x Rezu (OC)
Disclaimer: If I owned it, don’t you think there would have been more decent girls to write about?
Warnings: *snickers* Whaddya got? Sex. Rape and its aftermath. Violence. Bad words. Gay marriage. Krillin-bashing. Dyke Chichi. Straight Gohan. Confused Dende. Smart-ass Piccolo. I think that covers it – for now.
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Chapter 37 - Price

I can feel his eyes on me as soon as I reach the clearing. I feel him brush over the bond before pulling back, shielding himself yet again. If I hadn’t been sure before, I am now – it is all up to me.

If I turn back, there is no chance for us - I will lose Kakorr forever.

And still I hesitate, just staring while Kakorr patiently waits. Why am I making this so difficult?

I know what I have to do. I know Kakorr will never hurt me – never take advantage – never force me to submit. That isn’t what this is about anyway. This isn’t one of Frieza’s tortures - it isn’t about submission and dominance – it is about trust. I know all of this, but I am still frozen in place.

It is simple. All I have to do is give up control. This is my choice. Kakorr will not force me just as I never forced him. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before, but it is obvious now – that was what my ‘games’ were for. To ask Kakorr give control to me – and he did every time.

Why can’t I be more like Kakorr? Why can’t I trust him the way he trusts me? Every time I doubt him I end up hurting him. Why am I hesitating now, causing him even more pain?

I have never truly believed in religion or all-powerful, caring gods, but I am suddenly struck by the need to pray to one who protects fools and cowards, for I have been both.

I take a deep breath and begin to cross the clearing, feeling Kakorr’s eyes on me the entire way. There is no more backing out – I am committed now. I am afraid, but I am slowly beginning to realize my fear is not of Kakorr but of myself.

I reach the center of the clearing and stop, meeting Kakorr’s eyes for an instant before lowering my gaze. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding and sink to my knees, hands stretched out before me, palms up, tail unprotected at my side. I cannot let myself panic again. I love Kakorr – I will not lose him.

I hear him crossing the ground and my tail twitches in anxiety before I still it. Kakorr stops and crouches before me and I shiver but do not move.

“You’re sure, Vegeta?” he asks in a gentle voice, hands loosely wrapped around my wrists, his thumbs brushing against them as if reading my racing pulse.

My next breath almost doesn’t come as I try to answer. “Yes.”

“You’re afraid.”

I hang my head in shame for my cowardice, “Yes.”

He traps my wrists together in one hand, the other cupping my chin, forcing me to meet his dark gaze.

“Of me?” he asks, watching me intently.

“No,” I whisper, “Of me.”

He smiles at me – a sad little understanding smile. “Neither one of us will be hurt, Makoto. I promise. I will prove to you that you can trust me.”

That surprises me. Kakorr doesn’t have to prove that – I should have known it all along. “I thought…”

“Maybe we both have something to prove to each other, Vegeta.”

He tips my chin and teases my mouth open with his thumb before pressing his lips to mine. His tongue is insistent and invasive, but somehow I know not to challenge him with my own. I gave him control the instant I stepped forward.

He draws away and smiles at me – not his usually beaming one, but I can tell he is pleased.

“Don’t move,” he says before releasing his hold. Kakorr rises and returns to the front porch, making me shiver slightly as he sheds his shirt and shoes. When he is dressed as I am he picks up a small case and brings it back with him. He places it on the ground in front of me and opens it so that I cannot see the contents.

He smiles and I suddenly feel uneasy. Is he planning on performing this test here – out in the open where anyone can see? “Kakorr…I-”

“No Vegeta,” he interrupts. “No questions. No protests. You have to trust me.”

I swallow hard, but fall silent. Kakorr knows how I feel about others seeing me – I have to believe he will not let me be shamed in anyone else’s eyes.

He picks up something and moves behind me, his tail lightly looped around my wrists.

“Close your eyes, Vegeta,” he says, his voice a soft breath on my ear, “I’m going to blindfold you.”

I shudder and hesitate a moment before doing so; I hadn’t expected this. His hands are gentle as the smooth fabric is slid over my eyes, but I can’t help but shiver at the blackness. I begin to raise my hands to remove it, but his tail is suddenly firm around my wrists, pulling them back down.

“Is it too tight?”

“No,” I gasp. It is too dark. I want to see. I want to know where he is, what he is doing. I search frantically for his ki, hating myself for this meaningless panic. I have to face and overcome these fears or I will lose Kakorr. I’m safe, I’m safe. I keep telling myself that, but why can’t I seem to believe it?

He is against my back, warmth and strength, his hands rubbing up and down my arms. I can feel his purr even though I can’t hear it and know he is trying to give me time to adjust. I try to match his breathing in an attempt to calm myself.

His tail slips off my wrists, only to be replaced by his hands, holding me with just enough pressure for me to feel trapped. I feel the spark of his ki and moan in barely repressed panic when they are bound together with his energy.

“Shhhhh,” he whispers, kissing my neck. “You’re safe, Vegeta. I promise.”

My tail seems to take on a life of its own, bristling and thrashing in agitation until he captures it with his own. I whimper at the sensation of fur on fur, the gentle contact almost too much for my frantic mind.

His purring becomes rhythmic and I latch onto the sound, trying to calm down again. His hands have returned to stroking my arms, sometimes trailing up to my neck and cheek.

“You’re doing fine, Makoto. I know this is hard. You’re doing fine,” he purrs, his breath warm on my neck.

I hate that I need to be comforted like a child. This shouldn’t be hard, I know that. I shouldn’t be afraid. This is Kakorr whose arms are around me. But I can’t seem to make myself believe that, my fingers curling and twitching in anxiety.

His arm curls around my waist and I feel the now familiar tingle over my skin of Kakorr’s Instant Transmission. My breath hiccups at the change of location. I don’t know where I am anymore and fear is racing through me.

“Calm down, Vegeta. Breathe. You’re safe here. No one can see you here.”

His voice is calm, but I hear the pleading desperation behind it. I’m failing Kakorr. I’m letting my fear take control.

“What does it feel like here? What do you smell, Vegeta?”

His quiet voice helps me slow the pounding of my heart as I pay more attention to what is around me. Kakorr is telling the truth – no one can see me here; there are no other kis around us. I feel…surrounded. We aren’t outdoors – but it doesn’t sound like a room, either. It is cooler in here than it was outside, but it doesn’t feel like stale air-conditioning. The scents…Kakorr’s scent is strongest – he has been here before. But I can’t smell anyone else. Has he been the only one to come to this place? There are other scents as well…

“Herbs. Furs,” I say quietly, my tail brushing against his arm.

“Yes,” he purrs, his lips against my throat. “I’m going to light a fire.”

I’m grateful for his warning, for the next instant there is a spark of energy behind me leaping across the space to erupt into heat.

“Tell me if you are uncomfortable, Makoto, or if you want me to slow down. We have as much time as you need.”

I can only nod, not knowing what else to say. I am here because I choose to be, but even his loving words cannot erase my anxiety.

He is gently touching me, his hand slowly moving over my exposed chest. His tail is looped around my arm, gliding up and down in time to his renewed purrs. Kakorr has captured my tail, his fingers lightly ruffling the fur. His mouth is soft on my neck and shoulders, and I know he tastes my fear.

“I know Vegeta, I know. You don’t trust me yet.”

I make a gasping sob of frustration. “I want to.” I’m trying. I want to tell him. I’m trying. I want to trust him. I will do anything for him. Even this. Even though I am dreading what he must do.

“Shhhh. You will Vegeta. Give yourself a chance.” Kakorr croons to me softly in Saiyan, his voice calm and reassuring. He continues to pet and calm me for an endless time until he decides it is time for the next step.

This isn’t like last time – then I was struggling to protect people I loved. I was too busy fighting the violence I knew would surface to think about Frieza. But since Piccolo had told me what the test entailed the lizard was all I could think about. The lizard and what my fear of him made me do to Kakorr…

For a moment I am calm enough to wonder how he can do this – I know how Kakorr feels about them. He objects to them more than I do, yet he is willing to put them on me again.

“Vegeta,” he says, my name a purr in his chest against my back, “Did Piccolo tell you…?” He hesitates and I understand this is difficult for him as well. I know Kakorr doesn’t like to see me afraid and my reaction is making this harder on him.

“Yes,” I whisper, shivering, “Please. I want-.” I want to trust him. I want this barrier between us to vanish. He leans back slightly, letting me move until I am more comfortable, my legs stretched out in front of me, until I am totally surrounded by his presence and his heat.

“Just remember you are always safe with me,” he murmurs, his breath warm against my cheek. Kakorr tips my head, capturing my lips, his mouth gentle and non-demanding against mine. “Trust me,” he breathes into me.

I struggle not to break away from the kiss when I feel the cold metal clamp around my wrists. I can’t stop the moan of anxiety when his hands move over the cuffs and I feel my ki fade. Kakorr doesn’t seem to be surprised when my lowered ki triggers nightmarish memories. He says nothing, does nothing but hold me as my entire body quakes with dread.

Images of Frieza laughing at my helplessness torment me and I can’t escape them. I can’t help but remember the pain he put me through. My blindfold is dampened by tears of frustration. I can do this. I have to. I can’t lose Kakorr! My terror is nearly a living thing, making me sick and shaking.

I’m trapped again, haunted by Frieza’s eyes watching me from the shadows. But this isn’t Frieza – I know it isn’t. It is Kakorr and he will not hurt me. I can hear his breath hitch as he watches me battle memories of pain. I want to beg him to forgive me; I don’t want to be like this, but I can’t speak enough to explain.

“I’m sorry, Vegeta,” Kakorr says, and I hear his voice crack. “Please forgive me.”

I shake my head. He didn’t do this to me. Frieza did. The damned lizard nearly destroyed me after all. My pulse is pounding and I press back against Kakorr, trying in vain to escape to the safety of his arms. My thoughts make no sense – all I can feel is fear and there is no escape.

“I can’t do this to you. I don’t like to see you so afraid.” His hands are on the cuffs and I know - he is going to stop this. I have failed.

“No,” I gasp, trying to pull my hands away. “No. Kakorr, please.” He hesitates, and I hear myself babble, barely coherent, “Please Kakorr, give me a chance. I’m trying.”

Save me. Save me. Don’t let Frieza do this to me anymore. Make these nightmares go away.

“I know you won’t hurt me. Please. I trust you - I want to trust you. Please. I love you.” I know I am weeping, my blindfold wet, and I don’t care. “Please Kakorr. Don’t give up on me. Please.”

His mouth is on mine, swallowing my frantic pleas, his taste a comfort in my haze of terror. ::It’s okay, Vegeta. I’ll never give up on you.:: “We could try again…”

I shake my head, wishing I could see him, wanting to see those beautiful brown eyes. My fear of being weak and helpless is nothing compared to my terror of losing Kakorr forever. “Don’t stop. Please.”

He kisses me again, his soothing, rumbling purr returning. “Are you sure, Vegeta?” he whispers. I nod, struggling to will my terror away. His hands are touching me again, soothing and stroking me, doing what he can to ease my fear. He is gentle and patient, something Frieza never was. “Take your time. You have nothing to be afraid of with me.”

I know I have nothing to fear from Kakorr. I know it, but still I can’t seem to make myself believe it.

“Vegeta…” he says hesitantly, “You have to calm down. You have to think. What are you really afraid of?” I can feel him touching my mind, tracing threads of memory, trying to help me understand why I am reacting like this. He gives me images and memories of his own of us together. I see myself happy with him and regret the sorrow I have caused this man.

“Kakorr…” I croak, apologizing, begging him to save me from this darkness.

Kakorr is not the one who used me or took advantage of me. He is not Frieza. Frieza is the one who tortured and raped me. Kakorr has never done me harm. I know this fear is foolish. This is Kakorr. But even now as he touches me memories of Frieza keep surfacing.

“Frieza’s dead. He’s dead, Vegeta. You killed him. Why do you keep letting him hurt you?”

I can’t respond, but the answers keep spiraling around in my mind. I’ve killed the lizard. Why won’t he die? Why won’t these fears leave me? I can’t trust because Frieza taught me not to. But Frieza is gone. Dead. I destroyed him myself. I killed him for Kakorr once – I have to do it again. Why is it so hard? The memories of what he did to me… I can’t let go of the damned memories.

Kakorr’s hands have stilled and I am sure he can feel me wrestling with this. I feel like I am on the edge of some cliff. He is there, beside me, surrounding me, supporting me as I fight this battle with myself. He is my strength and comfort in the face of this enemy.

I have fought all of my life, battling even when there is no hope of victory. Why have I given up on this fight – especially since it is one I can win? Why am I living my life based on painful memories of the past? I don’t want to. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I don’t want to be afraid because of what Frieza did to me years ago. He is gone, but I live. But I haven’t won. If I continue like this, Frieza will destroy me after all. He will have succeeded in taking everything precious from me. I growl in frustration at the realization. I refuse to give him any more. Frieza is dead but he is still winning. And I have given him that victory.

I want it back.

::Yes… yes…:: I feel more than hear Kakorr’s approval. He has reopened his side of the bond allowing his strength and understanding to ripple through me.

I am no longer shivering, fear fading into something I don’t recognize. I am on the edge of a discovery – an epiphany so sharp it is almost painful. I can hardly remember how to breathe and I feel almost light-headed as I suck in gasping breaths of air. Kakorr’s arms are all that is holding me up, keeping me safe at the cliff’s edge.

I have been a fool. I have let myself be controlled by memories of pain. It doesn’t have to be like that anymore.

This is Kakorr holding me. This is not Frieza. Kakorr. And I trust him with my life and my heart. No matter what I have done in the past, he forgives me and loves me. He is not Frieza. He will never hurt me – never try to break me.

I am free. Frieza is dead and I am free. I don’t have to be afraid of a memory. I don’t have to be afraid anymore. I am loved. I am safe.

Kakorr is standing behind me on that cliff now, and I finally understand what Rouba meant. I want him to push me over the edge. I want to fall.

“I trust you,” I whisper, smiling to myself, suddenly calm. ::Catch me.::

Kakorr can feel the change – I know he can, because in that instant his purr roars through me as a wave of happiness.

::I trust you,:: I tell him again, answering his purr with my own.

“Vegeta,” he murmurs happily against my neck, his arms tight and protective around me, cradling me in his warmth, “Vegeta.” I don’t even need to see him to know he is smiling. I have done it – I broken free of Frieza’s control.

His mouth is against mine again, purring and tasting me with pleasure. I can feel him again through the re-opened bond and grin when he laughs into the kiss. ::You did it Vegeta. I knew you could.::

I relax in his arms, enjoying his possessive touch as he traces designs on my skin with flickers of ki. Before his caresses were meant to comfort, but his intent has shifted to pleasure now.

Kakorr’s fingers stroke and tease my nipples, sparks of ki making them even more sensitive when he lightly pinches and pulls them. I moan into his mouth, shifting my bound wrists, not to get free, but to allow him to touch me more.

::Do you want me to take those off, Vegeta?::

I don’t even hesitate before answering, ::No.::

I’m not afraid anymore. Bound and blindfolded had always meant pain to me, but Kakorr’s memories of this are pleasure. I find I am curious about this new experience. Kakorr is enjoying his role as protector; I can feel his pride and happiness and realize he hasn’t been in this position since my brainwashing was removed.

Kakorr smiles against my mouth, his hand gliding over trembling stomach muscles before brushing over my gi-covered cock. “You are going to like this game, Makoto. I promise.”

“What are the rules?” I groan, arching into his hand. This is more than a game and we both know it. I wonder how long he has wanted to play this way and never suggested it because of my foolish cowardice.

“They are very simple,” he purrs, suddenly standing with me held securely in his arms. He carries me closer to the heat of the fire, making sure I will be warm enough. He kisses me again before lowering me so I am reclining on thick furs. “I give you pleasure and you let me. We make love.”

I can’t help but smile at him, imagining the look on his face when he said that. ::I like those rules.:: He runs his hand through my hair and I suddenly remember how fascinated he was by it on Vegeta-sei. A moment’s concentration and my spikes lower and flatten, leaving bangs drooping over my face.

He laughs in pure pleasure, his finger tracing my smile. “You’re beautiful, Vegeta. Did you know that?” Kakorr kisses me before I can answer, his hand cradling my cheek, thumb coaxing my willing mouth open. My purr answers his deep rumble as I taste his flavor of sweet herbs.

The taste of his mouth reminds me of when we first made love – his strange mix of hesitance and confidence, gentleness and dominance. His hand is around my wrists and I feel him pause. We both have memories of pain and fear and in some way my captivity is helping him deal with his own. ::I trust you, Kakorr,:: I repeat, and it is true; I know I am safe with him. This captivity is freedom, letting me feel what I have forgotten.

I don’t resist as he pulls my hands over my head, pinning them to the floor. His hands curl around my wrists, gliding them down my arms, his ki warm against my skin. His tail brushes over my face, pausing at my blindfold. I sense Kakorr is debating removing it, but I hope he leaves it on. Now that I am not afraid and know I am safe, there is something intoxicating about not being able to see what he is doing to me.

“You’re right, Makoto,” he purrs. “Not knowing makes it more intense.”

I smirk, already knowing the answer from the images in his mind. ::You know this from personal experience?::

He chuckles. ::Don’t ask who and I won’t have to tell you.:: I feel twin sparks to my nipples, making me writhe under his touch. “No more questions, my prince,” he whispers before dipping his tongue in my navel. His strong hand splayed below keeps me against the furs, keeping me from arching up into his mouth. I can’t keep from moaning as his tongue continues tracing the muscles of my stomach, delicately following every dip and curve.

He has long known how and when to touch me to get the most reaction and he uses that knowledge to his advantage now. I moan and whimper in appreciation as he explores my upper body, turning even my captive arms into an erogenous zone.

I am startled when he touches the sole of my foot, pulling away in surprise before returning to his gentle hold, apologizing for my instinctive reaction. No one has ever touched my feet like this before and it is a strange sensation.

I never would have believed touching my feet could make my cock hard, and I am stunned to realize it is true. His hands are gentle but firm, thumbs pressing and massaging until all I can hear are my purrs. He chuckles when I laugh at the ticklish sensation as he licks and sucks my toes. My toes curl and I blush violently at the involuntary giggle that erupts from me when his broad tongue sweeps over the sole of my foot.

“Please, Kakorr…” I soon beg. ::No more.:: It is too much. I’m not used to having my feet touched. They are too sensitive and his continued contact is threatening to slip over from pleasure to pain.

Kakorr crawls up my body to purr an apology into my mouth. His weight is safety and protection pressing me against the furs surrounding me.

My cock is hard and leaking, straining against the fabric of the pants Kakorr still has not removed. I am so desperate for touch there I slide my tail under the waistband, intending to coil it around my aching erection. Kakorr chuckles and clucks disapprovingly, capturing it and tugging it free. I moan in frustration, not pain or fear, when he uses his ki to imprison my tail as well, the tingle of his power nearly making me come when it touches the bristling fur.

I twist and strain against my bonds, not to get free, but to feel them tighten against me, the ki sending electricity through my skin.

Kakorr’s mouth, hands and tail continue to fondle and stroke me, surprising me constantly with how and where he touches me. Just when I expect him to suck or pull on a nipple he makes me shiver with a ripple of fur under my arms or against my neck. I am gasping and whimpering his name, pleading with him to touch me more, to never stop.

His words are a purr, a vibration, a rolling rumble through my skin and through our bond. I can’t hear as much as I feel his adoration… ’heat’... ‘fire’… ‘burn’… ‘melt’… Kakorr is groaning along with me as my entire body is set aflame by his words.

“Don’t move,” he whispers, his tail looping lightly around my ankles as a reminder.

I whimper in anticipation when I feel the gentle ki in his hands touch me below the waist. I am breathing with him, groaning as his fingertips trace lines down my legs, shredding my pants. He growls in appreciation as my cock rises from its prison, tangling in the ribbons of fabric still hanging from my waistband.

“Beautiful,” he purrs, his fingertip tracing a teasing path up the underside of my cock. I make a shaky moan, arching into his hand. I feel tightness and a pull around my waist and then hear a snap as the remainder of my pants is ripped away.

His caresses continue, this time starting from my ankles, slowly, teasingly working their way up. My surprised gasp turns into a breathless groan when he raises one of my legs and kisses me behind my knee, his gentle touch sending fire straight to my cock.

His possession – his ownership – of my body is strangely liberating and I no longer care what he does or what sounds I make. I don’t think I have ever felt love or pleasure like this before. His mouth continues to taste me, teeth gently scraping up my inner thighs until I am practically shaking with need.

He is crooning over my skin, the throaty Saiyan words of love making me whimper. I trust him. GodS, I trust him. Is this ecstasy the reward for such a difficult thing? How could I have ever doubted him? How could I have been such a fool to risk losing this?

Kakorr is kissing my thighs, nuzzling the base of my cock as he drags his tongue over the rough skin of my balls. I scream his name in a painful mix of bliss and frustration as he takes them in his mouth, sucking first one then the other. His slick fingers are in me, stretching and preparing my entrance for the pleasure he has promised. I’m so hard it hurts and he has carefully avoided touching my cock.

“Please Kakorr,” I beg in Saiyan, “Please, please…” ::Touch me, Kakorr. Please touch me.::

Instantly his mouth is on me, surrounding me, swallowing my cock whole and I scream. He releases my tail from its bonds and ruffles his fingers through the fur as he purrs around my cock. I have no control and explode into his mouth with a roar, my body shaking and spasming as I come.

“Mmmm,” he purrs, licking and swallowing my seed. I am stunned and breathless, gasping for air, trying to recover. Kakorr doesn’t relent, his hands firm on my hips, holding me while he continues sucking and purring around my cock, teasing it into hardness again.

“Kakorrrr,” I whimper. I’m on fire. I need him. I want him. My fingers are flexing uselessly, straining against my restraints as I try to touch him. He moves, crawling up my body, pinning me against the furs with his weight.

Kakorr’s mouth is on mine, kissing and sucking my breath away. His entire body vibrates against mine with the strength of his purrs and all I can do is moan with pleasure when he grinds our erections together.

“Tell me again, Vegeta,” he whispers in my ear, his breath hot against my skin. ::Tell me.:: His ki is rolling through me, making me shiver. ::Ask me.:: His tail is coiled around my thigh, the tip teasing my entrance and I don’t know if I am coherent enough to answer. ::Beg me.:: His hands are on my hips and I feel the head of his cock against me, promising, teasing…

“Please Kakorr,” I plead, my voice trembling. ::I need you. I want you…::

“Say it, Vegeta,” he says, his own voice shaking with impossible restraint. “I need to hear it again.”

“Please…” ::Anything you want, Kakorr. Anyway you want. Any words you want. Fuck me. Love me.:: “I trust you, Kakorr.”

Kakorr makes a strangled cry and sinks into my body with one smooth thrust. I groan at the sensation of being so totally and instantly filled, shaking with Kakorr as our bodies adjust and adapt. I feel him carefully touching me through the bond, ensuring he causes me no pain. The discomfort vanishes in an instant and Kakorr begins sliding in and out of my body, stroking sensitive nerves, making me cry out at the electricity shooting through me.

My legs are wrapped around him and his strong arms are secure around me, supporting and cradling me. Kakorr’s strokes are impossibly slow and gentle, his phenomenal strength held back and restrained so he will not hurt me with my ki lowered. His tail is coiled around my cock, fur bristling and teasing the sensitive skin, making me whimper his name.

Kakorr is murmuring again, repeating all of my names over and over in both languages, languidly thrusting in time to each one. I can only repeat the one that tells him how much I love him.

“Vegeta.”

“Kakorr.”

“Makoto.”

“Kakorr.”

“Prince.”

“Kakorr.”

“My Prince.”

“My Kakorr.”

“Mine.”

“Yours.”

I feel myself tightening, coiling with each word, with each gentle stroke. Kakorr growls, his entire body trembling against me and I feel his seed spilling inside me. I can’t contain the pressure anymore and soak his tail, screaming his name and coming so hard I pass out.

------------------------

I come to in his arms, his purr soft against my skin. The restraints and blindfold are gone although cuffs are still on my wrists. We are surrounded by fur – cushions and throws surround and cover us. A small fire is burning in a niche before us, the only light in the room. I smile to myself as I realize where we are. A den. Kakorr has made a den. The doorway is open, revealing a glimpse of night sky.

Kakorr’s hands touch my wrists. “You can take those off, Vegeta. They aren’t locked. I just didn’t want the spike to wake you.”

I look at them a moment and shake my head, relaxing in his embrace. ::Not yet.:: I’m calm. I don’t think I have ever felt this calm and at peace in my life. I don’t want to do anything to disturb this moment. “Thank you, Kakorr,” I say softly. ::Thank you for forgiving me.::

I can feel his smile and he holds me closer. “It’s okay, Vegeta. I just pushed you when you weren’t ready.”

I shrug. There’s so much more that could be said – should be said – but we don’t need to. I can feel his understanding through our bond – he already knows. I never realized how amazing it would feel to trust him. “Do you feel like this all of the time?”

“Kind of – but you seem to be calmer than I have ever been. Are you sure you are okay with those on?”

I glance at the cuffs again and then up to his face. I know why I am so relaxed with Kakorr now. I have nothing to prove. There are no battles that have to be won with him. I can be as weak or as strong as I need to be – and so can he. I don’t need to fight. I smile at him as I recognize this piece of himself he has given me through our bond.

::I wonder if there has ever been another fool as lucky as I am?:: I ask. If it weren’t for Kakorr’s patience and love I would be dead or alone.

::We’ve both been fortunate fools, Makoto,:: he chuckles.

I wonder if there is ever hope for us to mate. Our quest to Vegeta-sei gave us so much – everything but a method. And I have resisted even thinking of returning – losing my home – losing Rouba again…I didn’t want to go through that heartbreak again. I would face it for Kakorr. But I find it difficult to believe he would still want to mate with me after everything I have put him through.

“Kakorr,” I begin hesitantly. If he refuses, I will accept his answer and be happy with the bond we have. I have no right to expect any more from him. “If you were still willing… to mate… maybe we could try to go to the past again. We… we could… we could ask…”

He brushes his tail against my cheek and I’m suddenly hopeful. Maybe…

“I’m sorry, Vegeta. We can’t go back.”

TBC