Chapter Three: She's Everything Roshi Wanted, But Nothing Like He Expected…

The next day...

Marron had offered her guest bed in her bedroom to Candy Apple, who happily took it. The little blond girl was happy to have a fashion doll brought to life, and she thought that a living Candy Apple was even better than the Candy Apple doll that she already had. She showed Candy Apple all of her toys, and she taught Candy Apple to play Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, Tidily Winks, and Connect Four. Candy Apple learned quickly, and she and Marron already had formed a strong bond that night.

Oolong and Turtle had barely talked Master Roshi out of telling Candy that she was supposed to sleep in his room and his bed. "She needs time to adjust, Master Roshi, to get to know you better. Don't be so eager to get her in bed with you right away," Turtle had advised. A disappointed Roshi had reluctantly agreed.

Candy Apple woke up the next morning, fresh-faced and beautiful as ever. She put on a pair of designer jeans and a red angora sweater shirt. The clothes clung nicely to her curves, and when she came downstairs, all of the males in the house couldn't take their eyes off of her. Even Krillin was having a hard time not staring at her for too long.

"Would anyone like cheese omelets and ham?" Candy asked everyone cheerfully. "I read the entire cookbook last night after little Marron went to bed, and I memorized all of the recipes. I'm going to make everyone a delicious breakfast." She sauntered into the kitchen. She gave Roshi a special smile.

Master Roshi could barely keep from drooling. He had the look of a lovesick puppy on his face. "She's great, isn't she?" he sighed happily.

"It's only day one, old man," Oolong told him. "Don't expect sparks to fly just yet."

Candy returned, bringing a tray of glasses and mugs, filled with orange juice and coffee. She served everyone with her trademark smile, and then to everyone's surprise, she plopped her perfect, curvy body right down on Roshi's lap and gave him a long, heated kiss.
Krillin and Juuhachigou choked on their coffee, and Marron's blue eyes widened to the size of Frisbees. Oolong snickered and Umigame groaned. Roshi's face reddened to the shade of his worst sunburn ever (which he received two years ago when he had been girl-watching on another island). When Candy pulled her face away from his, Roshi had a slack-happy grin on his aged face, and his eyes were closed.

"Ahhh," he sighed contentedly. It was the first kiss that he had received in a hundred years (or at least that was what he told people later).

Candy gently traced Roshi's mouth with her slender finger, and she began planting butterfly kisses all over his face. She nuzzled his wrinkled throat with her tiny, pointed nose, and then she gave him another heated smooch. She whispered something in his ear, and Roshi fell out of his chair, with a dazed expression and a goofy grin.

"Well, I have to run," Candy told him merrily, as she arose to go into the kitchen. But before she could leave, she noticed that Krillin had a cut on his right arm, a small cut.

"Did you treat that cut?" Candy asked him.

Krillin looked briefly at his cut and shrugged. "It's just a small cut, no big deal. I cut my arm earlier sparring with my wife."

"No big deal!" Candy exclaimed. "Why that could get infected! You wait right here, and I will get the antiseptic and bandages."

"It's not necessary," Krillin protested, but Candy dashed out of the room. Within minutes, she had returned with a first aid kit, and she seized Krillin's arm hard. Krillin gasped, as Candy soaked a cotton ball with peroxide and dabbed it on his cut. She then wrapped it in several layers of gauze.

"Candy, I don't need all of this…" Krillin continued to protest.

"Of course you do. Now shush and let me finish," Candy told him firmly, as she taped it neatly with surgical tape. "There, all better," she said with a bright smile.

"Umm…thanks, I think," Krillin sighed.

"No problem," Candy said happily, as she casually traced a coffee table that Krillin had been sitting next to. Her happy smile faded when she noticed two layers of gray dust coating the tip of her finger.

"When was the last time that anyone here dusted?" she asked curtly.

No one could remember, and Oolong casually sat his orange juice on another coffee table without using a coaster. Candy saw this and went ballistic.

"Don't you know that glass could leave rings on that nice cherry wood table! Use a coaster!"

"It won't ruin it," Oolong retorted. "I've done it before." He would have gotten away with that too, except that Candy noticed a faint whitish ring on the corner of the polished cherry table. She didn't hesitate to point it out.

"Someone left a glass on this nice table, and look at that ring! Oh, I must find some polish right away!" Candy cried aloud.
"Where are your cleaning supplies, Roshi?"

Roshi was unable to answer her, for he was still a daze over the kisses that she had given him. He was still lying on his side, smiling blankly.

"Oh, I must remove that ring!" Candy declared, and she was about to do so when little Marron sneezed loudly. Candy rushed to the startled little girl and looked her over carefully.

"Marron, poor thing! You must be coming down with a cold! I must take your temperature!"

"I feel fine, Candy, really I do. The dust probably made me sneeze."

"Well, then you must be allergic to the dust in this house! Well, I have got some cleaning to do today. In the meantime, sweetheart, until we know what actually caused you to sneeze, you must wear this dust mask." And then she quickly slipped a white surgical mask over Marron's face. Juuhachigou and Krillin just stared at her, wondering what sort of creature the Eternal Dragon had given Master Roshi.

Candy then noticed a stack of books on the cherry coffee table, and she noticed a thick book filled with technical information, a book that Bulma had left the last time that she had been at Kame House. The book was titled, "Industrial Technology Volume Seventeen: How To Build Environmentally Safe Engines At A Fraction Of Normal Cost".

She read that book within thirty minutes, much to everyone's amazement and relief, and then she found another book titled, Decorating Dames: How To Decorate Your Baby's Nursery Just Hours After The Results of The Amniocentesis.

"Oooh, what a wonderful book!" she exclaimed, and then she turned to Roshi and pulled him up. She kissed him gently and whispered into his ear, "So how soon can we have a baby?"

"A BABY?" everyone exclaimed.

Roshi blubbered, "B-buh-buh-baby? B-but, but, Candy, we just met, and I frankly am not ready to be a daddy." He laughed nervously.

Candy's apple-green eyes misted over with tears. She began to bawl, "But I love you, Roshi, I do! I want to have your child! Why can't we start on having a baby now?"

"We're not married," Roshi said as firmly as possible. His face was redder than Vegeta's when "Kakarot" managed to prove himself stronger than the Saiyan Prince's.

"That, and you two just met," Krillin added.
"Mommy, what's wrong with Candy?" Marron whispered to her mother in a muffled tone.

"The Eternal Dragon is punishing Master Roshi for all of his dirty deeds, so he sent her to torment him," Juuhachigou cracked.

"I heard that, Juuhachi!" Roshi exclaimed indignantly. "And I happen to like her just fine, although she is a bit of a clean freak and tends to rush things. But if she really wants to have my baby…" His voice trailed off, as he turned to Candy. "Hey, about we wait a year or two, love, but until then you and I can get better acquainted with each other, if you know what I mean." He winked at her.

Candy clapped her hands in delight. Then she lowered her eyes and purred seductively, "I'd love to start on that soon, Roshi…"

Roshi's ears perked up, and his heart pounded hard. "How about today?" he asked her hopefully.

Umigame and Oolong groaned loudly, Marron looked puzzled, and Juuhachigou and Krillin both flopped over backwards.

"I'm looking forward to it, just you and me alone in a nice, hot, steamy tub of bubbly water…" she crooned.

"Really, truly?" Roshi said happily.

"Yes, we can," Candy continued happily, as she leaned closer to his ear. "We can do so…"

"Yes, yes!" Roshi panted.

"…Heehee, as soon as I finish cleaning the house! This house hasn't been dusted in years! I can't make love in a dirty house!" Candy laughed.

Now it was Roshi's turn to fall over backwards, as everyone couldn't help but laugh at him. Candy asked Marron, "Where's the cleaning supplies?"

Marron mumbled, her voice muffled still by the surgical mask, "In the closet on the left down the hall."

"Thank you!" Candy bubbled, as she raced down the hall to get the cleaning supplies. She came back within five minutes, loaded down with brooms, mops, buckets, dusters, and cleaning solutions.

"C'mon, everyone, let's clean up the house!" she enthused.
The house had been cleaned a day ago, but it wasn't up to the new houseguest's standards. Everyone quickly made up an excuse.

"I…umm…have to go visit Goku," Krillin said quickly. "I'd promise him that I would help him finish his dinner, yes, that's it."

"Like Goku needs help finishing any meal," Juuhachigou quipped. "But, I'll come with you, I'm sure that Chichi would like me to go shopping with her."

"I'm sleepy," Marron mumbled.

"I have a date," Oolong announced. Everyone looked at him strangely. "I do have a date! She's tall, brunette, and beautiful with perfect boobs and curly brown hair and blue eyes that you could swim in. She's also-"

"Oolong, your centerfold of Miss October hanging on your wall does not count as a date," Umigame told him.

"Shut up, Turtle! And for your information, she's not Miss October; she's Miss November!"

"Well, I have to go organize my magazine collection, Candy, but I'll help you later," Roshi told his new love quickly. He and others began to creep out of the room, but Candy stopped them immediately with a loud voice:

"No one is sneaking out of here! We are going to clean this house and clean it right! Roshi, darling, you and Oolong will clean up this room, and Oolong can scrub the white rings off of the tables. I will dust and vacuum. Marron, sweetheart, you can gather the trash in the house, okay?"

"O…kay," Marron said reluctantly.

"Juuhachigou and Krillin, you two may clean up the kitchen, starting with the windows. We are going to get this house spic and span! This is going to be fun! I can't wait to be in a clean house again! Umigame, you can clean the bathroom downstairs, and I will clean the one upstairs. Ready, everyone, let's go!" And with that, Candy dumped her cleaning supplies on the ground and began to dust the blinds. Krillin and Juuhachigou plodded into the kitchen reluctantly with sponges, a mop, and all-purpose cleaner.

"What do you think of her?" Krillin asked his wife.

"Shenlong must have given her Borderline Personality Disorder as a bonus along with her other 'qualities'," Juuhachigou sighed. "Is she going to be like this every day? She's only been here one day, and already she's driving me nuts."

"Let's just clean the kitchen, and then we'll sneak out of here to Goku and Chichi's," Krillin suggested.

"At this point, I'd sneak out to Hell, or as some people call it, the Home For Infinite Losers," Juuhachigou told him, as she and Krillin began to slow wash down the windows.